Is that you Albion???

If it is you Albion, then check this out. It's a magazine I've created about me just for you. I hope you like it!

Open publication - Free publishing - More quinn

Innovation

A few years ago a good friend of mine Andrew "Pants" Marshalsea outlined his theory on innovation. This theory was that companies had secretly come up with a product that was pretty much a perfect product and they had actually developed this perfect product and made it!! He then said that instead of bringing out this perfect product onto the market, they introduced small incremental changes, therefore keeping competitors from improving on what they thought was their perfect product, but also allowing companies to keep money rolling in over a longer period of time. His example for this was babies nappies, he said that companies such as Pampers had already created the perfect nappy but brought out these advancements in small steps, ultimate dryness in one, improved maneuverability in another, easy fastening on another etc... Over time these where brought out and then combined, all the time getting closer and closer to the perfect product. I like the theory, it is quite realistic and has an air of conspiracy about it which is quite nice. The theory can apply to most products nappies, electronics etc. But one product I thought it wouldn't apply to until now was paper. I thought we had hit the peak of innovation for paper, I thought it was pretty much perfect but oh no I was wrong!! I saw an advert last night for Oxford Optic paper!!! This revolutionary paper has a distinct advantage over normal paper and one that will blow your mind! Its a quality Optic paper that allows you to ....wait for it........write on both sides of the page!!!!!! Oh my god what a breakthrough!!!! Now I'm no paper expert but cant you already write on both sides of the page? Ok this paper is advertising that ink doesn't show through from one side to another, but for a school pad who cares! If you want to see this innovation in action check out the ad below but I for one wont be investing in this magic innovation and will stick to writing on both sides of my normal crappy non optic paper!

People I want to punch in ads continued......

Its been a long time since I posted about people in adverts I wanted to punch. I think it stopped with Michael Winner but I'm not quite sure! Well since then a couple have taken up that mantle, there have probably been a lot more but they have slipped my mind, however heres a couple of idiots I'd like to punch (I think others would too, especially if they where walking down the street in the style you see at 43 seconds onwards.)

VW Independent Cinema

My attention was brought to these ads by Joe "our man" Ellison, soon to be of shortlist fame!! As a big film buff (he has over 10 dvd's in his collection! Thats a jokes, its considerably more than 10) he can not so regularly be found watching independent films at the not so local independent cinema. Anyway he showed me these VW ads that run in independent cinemas and I think they are bloomin marvelous! There's a selection to choose from, some explaining cult films for what they truly are and some exploring the lives of people that have taken the messages of films onboard and live their lives by those messages. But all are lovely, quirky, funny and entertaining. I also love the thinking behind it, firstly showing how films can change and affect lives whether that is for better or worse (Depending on your viewpoint). Also showing how independent cinema is (I believe) all about deeper meaning, designed for a more discerning audience who want to look into the films and discover the meanings for themselves, not just spoon fed the meaning/moral in some cheesy disney style and these ads do that beautifully by taking cult films and dissecting the underlying meanings in the films that nobody would have ever thought about! My favourite has to be Toy Story.

Speaking of that god dam squirrel!

Not so secret squirrel

I was speaking in the last post about the whole media attention that squirrel got just because it was in a photo! If you don't have a clue what I'm on about then the picture in question is below.

Well I was also speaking about reaction advertising, where agencies see a news story or something around them and then create a piece of work to play on this. I used examples such as virgin trains running ads advertising how they could get Katie and Peter back together faster than a magazine deal. Well TBWA\Manchester has run with the squirrel! See the campaign below.

The thing is its a bit, well, crap! There's a really good strategy in here, but they have missed it! "If only they'd gone to Jessops"! The line is rubbish. What would Jessops have done! Are they saying that by going to Jessops you can control everything around you and get perfect pictures, well they cant, maybe Jessops can photoshop out these things that ruin photos, well they cant! If it was a huge thumb that ruined the picture then the line and strategy would be perfect, but it isn't a thumb its a bloody squirrel! Surely they should have gone with something like "Perfect timing: Jessops can develop your snaps in so many minutes" or "for picture quality you wont believe!" something along those lines! If only the North Face logo on the guys jacket was little bit bigger, North face could run a campaign with the same photo maybe maybe with the line "enjoy nature". Maybe the Canadian tourist board could run a campaign with this picture or even find out what camera was used and the manufacturer could use the picture in a campaign! Oh and what is the recent obsession with chipmunks, squirrels and bloody meerkats!!!!

Censorship and silly season!

Censorship is doing the rounds a bit lately. First of all I noticed a few weeks ago that the title of Tarantino' s latest film had changed titles from inglourious basterds to just inglourious! They did well to censor it on posters etc but in some TV interviews with Tarantino they just used a blur effect the obscure the word basterds! A bit tame in my opinion (oh and on the film, we went to watch it on Friday and its very good! Go watch it especially for the performance given by Christoph Waltz (Col Hans Landa aka the jew hunter) who manages to be both menacing and funny at the same time, but if your offended by the word Basterd I'd give it a miss as you probably wont like the scene when a nazi gets beaten to death with a baseball bat or pretty much most of the scenes for that matter! Another censorship that I saw on the Guardian website was that of lesbian vampire killers on dvd, someone has taken offense to the word lesbian and decided to place a censorship sticker over the word. If I was the censor people I would be more concerned that this film was made/released/thought of. Ok thats a bit harsh but I would definitely endorse a big sticker on it warning the potential buyer that this film contains no funny moments at all, the same sticker could probably be used when the BBC bring out the Horne & Corden first series on DVD as well!

As well as censorship, silly season is again in full swing in the media! For those that don't know silly season is the period when the papers start running stupid stories because, well, they have nothing better report on! First of all it was the story that Benson (I remembered his name as I thought it would probably come up as a question in our local pub quiz!) England's largest carp was dead, apparently poisoned! Other stories reported on a penguin who was bald being given a bloody wetsuit as he was getting a bit chilly in the cold waters, killer chipmunks attacking people and finally last week there was a huge story about a squirrel that popped up in a photo! OK it was funny to look at but the media reaction was considerably over the top! The only thing that I don't think I have seen, but is a perennial silly season story, is some sort of shark attack off the English/Spanish coast! We'll have to wait for next year for that one to raise its head again! Having said that there has been a good effort this year (it could still get better yet!) but it will never beat the story of "squirrels on crack" from a few years back!

Cancer Watch!!!!

God its evil, just look at it!!!

Aghhh there is a beautiful return of my old friend the conflicting report in the same paper concerning foods that give you cancer, but this time we see a little bit of a twist on it. First there's the cancer story. The world cancer research fund are advising parents not to put processed ham or salami in kids lunch boxes as it is unhealthy, therefore leading to unhealthy habits in the future and therefore increase risk of getting bowel cancer in later life. So in essence there is a link between eating processed meats and cancer. But in a lovely twist in the same paper is a report that eating disorder charities are seeing an increase in people suffering from a serious psychological condition characterised by an obsession with healthy eating. No bloody wonder!!!! When the media bring out reports that such a thing gives you cancer, and diet books tell you that its bad to eat such a thing then its no surprise some people will take it too far because they're being bombarded by these messages from all bloody angles! Well in a sign of defiance to obsession with healthy eating, for my lunch I had a processed ham sandwich and a bag of crisps (which I have mentioned in another cancer post is meant to cause cancer as well!!), god I walking a fine line here, in theory doubling my risk of cancer!! Hold on a second they where salt and vinegar crisps and salt increases the risk of heart attack!!! Maybe I've gone too far, I think I need to call the doctor for a check up.

Blazin squad found alive and well!

Where you concerned of the whereabouts of that cheeky chappie crew known as the blazin squad? I know I was!!! I was concerned that they may have fallen in with the wrong crowd and got themselves into a little bit of bother or something! However I was relieved to see them appear on the Guardian website. It appears they've lost a few members along the way (might have lost them to drugs or alcohol, fame can get to some people!) but it looks they're branching out into new avenues! I always thought their routine was a bit static so maybe they're going to come back all singing, all dancing! I cant wait!

Heres the new squad pic!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/aug/17/peewee-boyz-cheerleaders