Scum Safari!

Last night a few of us went out to watch the Oscar winner Slumdog Milerner (as they say it in the film). It was pretty good, nothing to complain about, some funny moments and it made me feel quite good, especially the bhangra routine at the end, I wouldn't go as far as saying the feel good film of the year though. The best bit of the night however had to be the short trip through St. Helen's town centre to get a lift home off my brother who was in the music studio practicing with the band he plays with (they're called the Hurricanes (the same as our s**t football team on a monday night, which I'm sure I'll blog about soon) hopefully they will pay me for that plug, I doubt it). Anyway going through town was a truly brilliant/scary experience (depends what way you want to look at it). It started by taking a scary look through the windows of Buzbys (Joe once described this bar as "where the men are men, and so are the women"), next was the terrible sounds coming out of fluid! It was karaoke night and there was only about 12 people in there, someone was singing Brittany Spears and she was certainly making the song her own! But the best bit was most certainly the fight at the bus stop over the road from the studio car park! We had got the keys for the car and were sitting in the car when it all kicked off at the bus stop. It started with a girl annoyed at some other girl but taking it out on some fella, this consisted of her shouting at him, him not knowing what was wrong, lots of pointing in general directions. Eventually after a bit of shouting etc the fella ran to another bus stop the girl followed. The girl then returned dragging another girl by the ear! (in an old fashioned copper style) to the bus stop where she pinned her up against the glass (there was a security guard but he was having nothing to do with), after a bit of banter there was a bear hug, this led to one girl head butting the other, but not very hard, the other one head butted back a bit harder then got on her bus which had just arrived. They were both OK but the left each other with the words "You f**kin slag" to which the girl on the bus replied "I hope you f**kin die". St. Helen's truly is a classy town! Anyway this gave us a business idea that I would like to share. It is called Scum Safari. Its is just like a safari or safari park. In a car or armour plated Land Rover you drive around the town centre of St. Helen's (we could do day and night tours) with an experienced tracker/guide (carrying a rifle for protection) where the guide shows you the animals of St. Helen's in their natural habitat. I can see it now, it could become a huge tourist attraction, people from all over the world would come to marvel at such creatures in the wild! See the mating rituals of the common meathead, the taxi shrill of the wild drunken overtarted hag and the migration to the watering hole of the lesser spotted smackhead. Oh and yes hunting will be highly encouraged (hopefully it will keep the population numbers at bay, we cant let too many breed!)